I am who I am
by gemini-lover
Summary: 12thAug: ch.11 is UPLOADED! THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO WAITED! A poor peasant girl came to the Forbidden City for a job as a servant girl. The events, secrets and plans were not expected from her. SxS FOREVER! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! M FOR LANGUAGE!
1. I've got to leave now

**I am who I am**

**PG –13**

**Summary: Sakura – A poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty girl must be a servant in the royal palace. Why does she need to be one? Will she be staying there forever as a servant? What will happen to her? Is this the end of her life? – I highly doubt it- R&R. **

"…" – **speaking**

… **- remembering or dream**

… – **thinking**

**Disclaimer: nope nah…don't own them…**

**Gemini- lover: Hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy!**

**Ones who reviewed Chapter One: **

**Animefreakkagome**

**Child of a fallen angel**

**divinedragon7**

**Nanie-san**

**Cherryblossom93**

**Kokari**

**dbzgtfan2004**

**Mencar.no i am not a boy**

**THANKYOU VERY MUCH **

**Revised on the 14th of December 2006, things that were slightly changed are: tense, description and other events that needs brushing up. Thank you for all YOUR support and Thank you for waiting me so long. As I look at my old chapters, I cannot believe my tense is so bad! I can't bare the sight of it. I'm trying to make them better so it's easier for others to read this story without wincing cause of my tense. Although I must admit I'm still that bad, XD. I'm going to revise them all before my next update which should be soon, I hope. I hope I didn't disappoint my faithful, awesome readers but I was very busy. Sorry!! Thank you again and I hope this story will remain in your hearts even after you close the webpage. Read and Review will always apply in this story. **

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China, Beijing - The year 1845

Prologue:

"I have to go, papa."

"Be careful."

_Is this all he will say to me? _

"Sister, I'll miss you very much." He pulled her to an embrace.

She returned the embrace and replied, "Me too."

His sister pulled away from the embrace and turned to their silenced father.

_After all it's a way to let us all be happy for once. _

She clutched her sack and walked to the door. Until she reached to the door step she said without turning back, "Papa, I…I won't able to see again!" She sniffed.

She waited for a second or two but after realizing that did not helped at all, she hesitantly walked out of the broken and wrecked house. Without notice there was a warm hand grabbed her wrist, the hand pulled her to a hug. Her father kissed her forehead and smoothed her back gently. "I'll miss you dear. Loads and loads."

Rain started to pour, droplets fell onto her eyelids and down her cheek. Tear and rain mixed and they both dropped soundly onto the floor.

"Papa," she cried. "I won't be able to see you again."

"Dear, that is the very reason why I taught you how to read and write."

"But paper cannot contain any feelings from me to you, papa."

He embraced her tighter, once again kissed her forehead and smiled.

"I love you darling, in any circumstances, place or time. You should always remember that, won't you?"

She nodded slightly, tears started to drop from her eyes again.

She collected herself again, swept her only set of clean clothes down, smooth her hair and smiled weakly to show that she was alright again.

"I love you too Papa. And you, Touya." She croaked.

Her brother only nodded and kept quiet His eyes betrayed him as they start to get watery.

She waved back to them, "Papa, Touya, good luck, good health, May God high above bless you."

Her father waved back and said quietly to the beyond "Good luck to you Sakura."

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Gemini-lover: I hope you like that. Read and review please!

**Added on the December 14th-**

**I hope you like that and please read and review. I'll update as fast as I can! But not before I revised all of my chapters. **


	2. The Royal Palace

**I am who I am**

**PG –13**

**Summary: Sakura – A poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty girl must be a servant in the royal palace. Why does she need to be one? Will she be staying there forever as a servant? What will happen to her? Is this the end of her life? – I highly doubt it- R&R. **

"…" – **speaking**

… **- remembering or dream**

… – **thinking**

**Disclaimer : never dreamt of owning ccs**

**Cherryblossom93 – thanx…I'll try and make it betta! FANX FOR SUPPORTING**

**Kokari- srry…I'll try to update asap!**

**dbzgtfan2004- fanx…yup! Sxs 4eva**

**mencar.no i am not a boy- fanx! Write a storie lar jie!**

**Gemini-girl : hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy!**

**Revised on the 18th of December 2006 : Yep, as you can see I'm trying to finish improving my chapters to let other people read it happily and without guessing what's the meaning of confusing words and phrases that were once very rubbish. XD. If you are a new reader, please enjoy this story as much as you can and I will try my best to make it better for you all. Read and review applies as always. **

**Thank you the ones who posted a review when I uploaded this second chapter : **

**child of a fallen angel**

**divinedragon7**

**Nanie-san**

**xxkrn-luvspellxx**

**sailorkukistarfire**

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China, Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 1: Royal Palace

She walked on her battered shoes, her toes and her feet were tired of walking. The rocks on the road cut through her already broken shoes and pierced her feet as she walked to her destination. She couldn't do anything about it, therefore it was the best to leave it alone and ignore it. In her brown, rough cloth sack there were only two sets of clean clothes she washed this morning at 3 o clock. She knew that if she doesn't wake up at that time, she wouldn't have anything to wear then. She didn't bring any extra things with her at all.

She thought of how the beds would be allocated in the room that she may have a chance to share it with the others. That idea is a new one, and Sakura is not quite sure about it, but I wouldn't be that bad, would it? At home, there are two beds on either side of the room, she shares a bed with her older brother, and her dad takes the other one. She soon started to grow into a young lady, her dad tried to persuade Sakura to have a bed of her own. However Sakura would not hear of it, her dad is old and weak; he should have more comfort than she has to have

The thought of her dad and her older brother made her eyes flood. She hastily wiped her eyes on her now dust-dirty sleeves. She sighed and sat down on a piece of huge rock on the side of the wide, dusty road, she pulled off her shoes gently and started to massage her right foot while stepping the other onto the outside of the shoe. After she finished with both of her feet she put her ragged cloth shoes back on then she set off once again.

She had heard about the royal palace is the place to earn fortune if you are extremely poor. The only jobs for citizens in the country are cooks, guards and servant. Sakura depend all her meals on her brother and dad, not only because she is poor, but she lacks the skill of a great chief. So she can't be a cook. She can't be a guard either since she has no skill of martial arts and her body is so weak strong wind could blow away, so how on earth can she be a good guard and protect the Royal Palace's walls? So the only thing left is to be a servant. A servant must serve an emperor, an empress, an imperial noble consort, worthy ladies, princes, princess or relatives of the Emperor. Of course, it depends on which level of servant or the skill you show to let you serve. For Sakura, she have a lot of experience at home for this very job, she washes the whole family's clothes and dishes.

After making up her mind, she decided to tell the rest of the family's members. Upon hearing the news, the both of them frowned and hesitated to answer Sakura.

_Her brother spoke first, "I was unhappy already when you decided to take up the role of washing clothes and busying yourself with dishes, but now you passed the line. You cannot be a maid; no matter what and how bad we are coping you cannot have your reputation that low." _

"A_ servant?" Asked her dad, his eyebrows started to draw into a line. "A servant? Sakura we are doing very well. Our crops are doing well we got loads of food. _

"_Papa…please…don't tell me this…I did check the fields, all of our crops died or turned black. I've just been in the field these few days and I haven't seen a single part green. Also we don't have a bite of food! You used all your belongings and trade it for money. You almost traded your wedding ring for money! You can't trade everything. Also if we DID have food you and Touya had always forfeited it and let me have them and you sleep with empty stomachs. Please dad, you two have been doing loads to pull up our family and trying to support the whole family. But I can't just depend on you guys all the time! I've got to work, and I'm capable of working outside. Don't worry about me, I've always wanted to work, it's just the both of you never gave me a chance. _

"_My dear daughter, have you any idea how hard it is to be a servant? You need to work all day in the Royal Palace. If you do something wrong, then you will either get beatings or even severe punishment. Maybe even the risk of your head separating with your body. Some of my friends who worked in the Palace had ended six feet under. No is my final answer, and it's going to be my last. No IS NO." _

"_Papa," She dropped to her knees, placed her head on the floor to show respect for her father. "Please papa, please say yes. Let me contribute to this family, too. I need to help too. I won't quit until you accepted and give me the consent. You and brother had starved, thirst, not enough sleep to let me to have all of that. Please daddy, I really want to help you. They have a very good payment in the Palace and I can send you the money to you every week. You'll have a better life from now. Okay? Please." She bowed putting her head on the ground. _

_He shook his head in defeat, "I'm not sure your mother would have liked this, though it is a step towards seeing her." He said it with such sadness in his voice as if he was mourning for his wife. Her dad knew she had grown up to take care of herself and was rather proud of his daughter as she volunteered to support the family. Though there is a part of him that cannot be expressed by any emotion. He never wanted her to go, he always wanted to keep her daughter under his eye so he can always take care of her in any circumstances and any time. _

She wiped her tears away once more. She begged her dad until he let her to get the job of a servant. But Sakura never wanted to be separated away from home. That is a thing she wouldn't have dreamt of. But she had to stand up for her dad and brother. Seeing them getting thinner every moment, makes her feel very guilty, for the very reason they are suffering is because of her. When she finally had her courage to tell her family, it was the time for the servants. To pass the test is to the road of success.

Every servant get in the palace have to pass the test to serve one of the royalties. The test requires one the skill of washing, basic and complex royal palace manners and of course serving. Sakura of course was taught by her father. But she knew the Palace's manners were so much heavier than the outside. She knew they were needed to lower their heads when talking to a person if their dignity and place is higher than hers. She had prepared herself for all of this. And she couldn't wait to go to Royal Palace to try this new life.

The sun had finally set and she was already at the palace door. She tried to enter through the big, red doors that reached to sky high, until there were several guards who threatened to kill her if she tried again. She was then pointed to use the back door into the Royal Palace. This old, squeaky door is known as the Servant door, Servants or guards use this door, at least the ones that serve the kitchen or the least worthy ones. Sakura held in her anger and walked to the Servant door. There was a guard standing there with a scroll of parchment in his hands. The back of the parchment was pasted with the most expensive silk. It was rather bulky

" Name? said the guard toneless.

"Sakura Kinomoto." She softly whispered.

The guard scanned the list with his eyes. Soon he placed his index finger on the middle of the sheet.

"You are from Kinomoto family?"

Sakura nodded.

"Yes you may go in."

Sakura curtsey using her left hand on her right and place it on her right hip and put her legs together and lowered herself one or two inches before coming up again.

The guard just waved his hand impatiently.

Sakura clutched to her sack tighter and walked into the great hall where the other teen girls are. They all seemed to wait for a person to come in. They were all sitting quietly in rows. Sakura took a seat at the back. Then a few moments later a lady of age around 30 came in to the hall. She wore a long, pink working uniform and her hair tied up and twisted and plant on her head.

Does all princess or empress all dress like this?

She rubbed her hands together and said loudly, "Welcome to the royal palace where you will need to work from the crack of dawn to the midnight 3 o clock. Around these few weeks you will need to learn what you are suppose to do. You will serve the little princess or royal relatives at the start. Then the more you do better the better payment you have and the more high class can serve for. You need to serve with all of your might and manners. Now the other experienced maids will lead you to your rooms and you will share a room with 3 other girls. You may not and mark my words – may not swap people or rooms. Do you all understand? And you will start your training tomorrow, after 2 weeks or so of practice you will start to serve, are we clear?"

Many nodded their heads, others murmured an agreement.

"Good, tomorrow you will have uniform to wear, there will loads of colors, do not worry. You won't be wearing your old ragged clothes. Well good afternoon all, I shall see you tomorrow." She strolled off the door behind her.

The hall now was filled with voices now. The experienced ones were leading the new ones into their room. The crowd began to move out of the hall and into the Yu garden. Sakura followed the suit, and next to her walked a delicate skin girl.

'She look rich, she's not wearing dirty clothes like me and have decorations on her hair. Maybe I am right, she is rich.'

Sakura smiled at her when they both met eyes. The girl gave her a weak smile. Sakura nodded her head for politeness and said, "Hello my name is Sakura, what's yours?" The girl nodded too and replied, "Mine is Yuki." They kept on walking with the group. Sakura and her group walked to the east side of the Palace. The older girl pointed the girls into their rooms. Sakura, Yumi and two other poor looking girls are in the same room. They put down their packs and for Sakura put down her sack. She stood up and stretched to the sky, she really needed that. The older girl put a candle on, for it was rather dark and they have to wake up at 5 tomorrow. The older girl told them her name is Hani and she told them that if they have any problems they can ask her.

"Excuse me, Hani my name is Sakura and may I know where is the showers?"

"Yes, Sakura the showers are just around the corner along with the washrooms."

Sakura nodded for thanks.

Hani closed the doors and bid them good night.

Sakura walked back to her bed and asked brightly to the other girls, "Hello my name is Sakura, how about you guys?"

Almost immediately the other girls answered , " Yuki , Ana , Satora ."

Sakura nodded. "Where are you guys come from?"

"I'm from the south of China, soon our money became less and less. Therefore my father had no choice except to send me here to support the family's expense." Said Ana.

"I was from the east of China and I came here to prove to my parents that I can get a job."

Sakura turned to Yuki who stayed silent. She reach for Yuki's hand and asked her, "You, Yuki?"

Yuki somehow looked uneasy, she shook her head. Sakura who determent to know patted her back, "It's okay, just tell us we won't tell anyone else." Yuki moved her head up and looked at the others who smiled softly. " Okay, remember your promises." The others nodded. She took a deep breath then she said, "I'm a richest girl in the whole town, I'm very lucky to have a rich house and anything I want. But I always argue with my parents. They don't think it's a good idea dating boys outside who are poor. We fought about like a year, finally I touched his nerve and I start to have punishment." She breath deeply again. "First it was banning to see other boys, and then I get beatings from my dad, these times he never spoke to me except for arguing with me. Still the punishment doesn't work on me; I was actually trying to ignore the punishment. One day he was tired of looking at me and beat me he send me hear." Sakura can hear Yuki sniff loudly, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

"Will you be here forever?" asked Sakura.

Yuki nodded weakly, more tears form in her eyes, her hands moving to her lips to cover them, she start to nibble on them to stop the crying. Sakura patted her back softly and whispered, "its okay, Yuki, you have us. We are here for you." Yuki nodded for the last time.

Satora asked Sakura what about her and she explain all of the details. "It's very brave of you coming to the Palace on your idea. I never thought that your dad and brother is going to agree." Said Satora.

"I never thought my dad will actually agree too." Answered Sakura.

"Shouldn't we sleep we have a big day tomorrow." Said Ana.

The other girls nodded and drifted off to sleep quickly.

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Gemini-girl – hoped you like it. Next chapter Sakura and Yuki's friendship

**Revised on the 18th of December: I'm trying to revise a chapter each day. Therefore I won't be long. However I'm going to Taiwan soon so I better start working. Reviews apply once again, just click that button there! Constructive criticism are allowed, words of praise is definitely loved. HAHA **


	3. The new friendship bond

I am who I am

PG –13

Summary : Sakura : poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant . Why does she have to be a servant ? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – speaking

… - remembering or dream

… – thinking

Disclaimer : ccs – don't own it – never did – never will

Gemini-girl : hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy!

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China , Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 2 : Friendship bond

Sakura woke up at four thirty, the other girls are still sleeping. She moved out of her bed quietly and put on her shoes. She hastily tied top half of her hair and left the bottom left hanging. She untangled her hair easily. After that was done, she tip toed to the door and open the door softly, but it creaked loudly. The other girls just kept snoring. Sakura stepped out of her room and went and went to brush her teeth and wash her face in the bathroom.

The sun shone in her eyes and make them water. She splashed more water on her face, and wiped it on her towel. Packing her stuff and she walked back to her room, where she found the others are awake already. Sakura greeted them with a smile. She moved the petition over to her bed which was sewn on a phoenix. She changed to a pink top with yellow buttons which are on the right of her dress.

An hour later all of the servant girls all gathered in the hall. The teachers is standing in the middle of the hall. The girls all fell silence, and people start to fidget. There aren't that much space, when the lady from yesterday to take a seat. They have to move to let everyone to sit.

" Hello today, very pleased that all of you made it at this time" she paused to smile at them brightly. She could some dipping their heads down, some daydreaming and some yawning. She started again in a louder voice , " Today you will learn how to cook and clean. Rules and regulations. Everyone will actually get into their room groups and will follow an experienced servant girl to learn these."

Moments later, Sakura and her other roommates were following Hani around the Yu garden. Hani pointed to her left and said , " Over to the left will be leading in the princess rooms," She looked at her right and said , " To the right will be where the Emperor's studies and his huge room. In front of us leads out of the Royal Palace. She guide them to the way of empresses rooms, another path leads to the kitchen and cleaning rooms. " Today we will go into the kitchen and learn how to make snacks for the emperor. You will have to remember what he likes to eat and what he demands to eat."

Something overcome Sakura's mind, but before she could stop herself, she said , " Hani? You said the princess rooms ya? But where are the empresses rooms?" Hani looked around them, and beckon them underneath the shade. She put her finger to her mouth. " Shhh…please don't say that, if you were heard by anyone, you'll be dead. The emperor's mother, who doesn't like the emperor unmarried. She always talk about it but the emperor himself shut her up. There was a row between them, and the emperor's mother tried to starve herself because he won't agree to marry. We were all scared to talk it to anyone, so don't said it out loud." Sakura and the other girls nodded. " Good, let's go."

Sakura was holding the knife at an angle to cut the squid. She waited for the lady to let her start. When the word was called out, Sakura cut the squid into thin strips. Then she prepared noodles and carrots. She poured in the squid, carrots and noodles and stir fry them over the low heat. She kept stirring when she poured in the light soy sauce for tasting. At last the her dish finished. She wiped her hands on her apron. When she look to her right and there was Yuki was struggling to dice her spring onion. She accidentally cut her finger with the sharp knife. Sakura rushed next to her holding her finger and stop the bleeding. Yuki looked terrified at her finger but she lightly shove Sakura aside and start to dice again. But her finger is bleeding a huge amount of blood, she can't do anything but stop. She looked at the teacher tearfully, she walked over to her and told her. The teacher looked at her disgustedly and point her finger at her. Sakura hurried over to Yuki and wrap her arms around Yuki shoulders, " Please Miss, Yuki is hurt here, can you let her off not to do this round?"

" If she doesn't do this round she won't able to qualify for the servant test."

" Please miss, let her off." She pleaded.

Teacher slapped her across her face. " Who do you think you are Kinomoto? The boss? Talking to me this way." Sakura eyes fall for the ground, she didn't dare to look at her directly in the eye. " Sorry miss, I won't do that again." Said Sakura softly. Yuki grabbed her around the arm and turn her to see her. Sakura put her eyes down. " You should never let her to do that to you! That is not fair! Why did you let her do that?" said Yuki furiously. Before everything was her way, she can't bare everything not hers. " Just leave it, you can't do anything about it!" said Sakura. That sentence struck Yuki .

" _Yuki you will have to stop meeting the poor boy at once!" said her father. _

" _You can't control me, father. I have my own rights." _

" _Mark my words Yuki, you won't able to get out of the house if your mouth is still not shut." _

" _Father, that is not fair, mama was poor when you marry her. What's wrong with it?" _

" _That's because the man side is a rich side and there is no problem to marry in a poor. But a rich marry to a poor is not right, and I don't allow it!" _

" _You can't do that to me. You can't do this to me." _

" _Just leave it, you can't do anything about it" _

" Just leave it, you can't do anything about it." Whispered Yuki. Tears began to form in her eyes again. She blinked back the tears. "I won't let that happen again , I need to control myself ."

The inspector came around to check on Sakura's food, she looked at Sakura's and taste it and she nodded, same goes to the others. But when the inspector came to Yuki's , Yuki expect her to shout at her for her clumsiness and scold her for not having presenting her food. But to her amazed she said, " That is a very wonderful dish Yuki." Yuki looked at her bench and she could see on the bench there was spring rolls with a vinegar sauce next to it. She looked over to her right and there was Sakura with a red hand mark on her face and a smile. Yuki smiled back and mouthed thank you to Sakura. Sakura nodded to accept.

After they finish cooking and spend a whole day with their guide. They spend the rest of the day revising for their notes. They have a small exam tomorrow, if they didn't pass it then they will be disqualified. Sakura closed her eyes to let rule number 7. always talk with your head down if you are asking for something sink in her brain. She wipe away the tears from concentrating hard. Others are mumbling and Yuki was actually writing out the words to remember. Sakura took off her shoes and climbed on bed, tomorrow there's a big day ahead of her.

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Gemini-girl : hope y'all like it!


	4. Meeting the highest

I am who I am

PG –13

Summary : Sakura : poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant . Why does she have to be a servant ? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – speaking

… - remembering or dream

… – thinking

Disclaimer : ccs – don't own it – never did – never will

Gemini-lover : hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy!

Syaoran : 19

Sakura : 18

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China , Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 3 : Meeting the highest one

" Will you all wake up and look better than before, you ugly girls. You're here to get a worthless job , you won't get paid much because you're all ugly and stupid." The woman stopped by Sakura when she paced infront of the new comers. She glared at her for a second , held her nose high in the air and walked off.

She ordered them to the main hall of the emperor's block. Pinched two or three girls to stand tall and straight, tugged one girl's hair to make the girl redo it and as usual she gave Sakura a cold, death glare. When she walked off again, the girl which stand next to Sakura whispered , " She's jealous of your beauty." Sakura only gave her a weak smile and stared at the floor again.

So far she made friends with Yuki, Satora and Ana. All of them seem pretty nice but there is something wrong with Yuki. As far as Sakura know that rich were not allow to get out of their houses, they are only allowed to stay home, sewed and be educated. But Yuki said she have been with some poor guy. poor thought Sakura. She knows that Yuki is an average looking girl and if she have to be with a poor guy she only have two reasons. One is she's really desperate or have some plan. She thought hard on choice a, no… she can't be that desperate to like a poor guy. Yuki have a mischief look on her face. She then thought carefully about a plan. Then she also remembered rich girls are only allowed to marry rich boys or family. So that meant the she came here with a plan. Then she there was a thought came to her head.

Maybe , maybe Yuki have a poor guy, did something with him to test her father's temper making him mad enough to send her daughter here at the palace to be a servant? And Yuki's plans to get here got succeeded?

But wait… Sakura reminded herself that Yuki's father, Yun Wong favourite is Yuki. Definitely she won't make Yun to put her here and be a servant. Sakura thought deeply. What if, if Yun helped his daughter? What if knew Yuki's plan is to come to the palace? So he's used the poor boy case to tell whole village that his daughter is a disgrace so he could have an excuse to send her in the Palace.

Not long before there was a rumor that Yelen the mother of the King chose girls from the whole country into the palace to help the emperor to choose a wife and she hand pick them. When it was Yuki's turn Yelen seem to put Yuki underneath not suitable and Yuki made her way out of the Palace. Maybe the rumor is true and Yuki wants to get back in the Palace to get the emperor's attention?

Her thoughts were broke off by the woman's high, cold voice. " Ayumi," A average looking girl walked in. The woman saw the emperor's waved hand and she called out another name . " Yuki"

Yuki put both hands infront of her thighs, move her hip left to right like a deformed penguin . Sakura was wide-eyed-shocked. Her conscience told her thoughts were right.

Inside the deep, bright, golden hall in the middle sat the young emperor, along with Queen Yelan. And a tall, middle aged man standing next to the emperor. His highness saw Yuki came in. He put his head on his hand and rest on it for a while. He sighed heavily, the man beside him patted his back gently . " Just wait a little longer. It'll get over soon and you better be careful will hunt you down." Syaoran nodded and look at his mother, who seemed she's enjoying herself. Syaoran slump in his chair. When Yuki came closer and closer to him, Yuki winked and join the other girls in the line infront of Syaoran. Syaoran just stared at her disbelieving.

"Sakura. " cried the woman. Sakura looked at the hall and took a deep breath before he went in. She walked with two hands by her left show politeness. Her father said it's important to have politeness one , that makes their inner side beautiful.

Why is this girl taking so long! thought Syaoran. He saw a medium height girl walking in one of her white Qipao . Syaoran stared at her with wide eyes. This girl looks are so perfect, her body is good for bearing child, and she'll satisfy mother, only if she's rich. He saw her face closer and closer every second. She have the most beautiful emerald eyes he ever saw. He engaged his eyes with hers, looking in there deeply. He doesn't want to leave those beautiful, crystal, pretty, perfect –

"Syaoran!" said Yelen in a stern voice. The whole palace is waiting for his response for another girl. " Shit" He pretended to sigh but his feelings revealed itself on his face. He waved his hand to tell the woman to call another name. Embarrassed Sakura behind Yuki who glared at her.

Later on that night, Syaoran was called in his mother's room. The servant greeted Syaoran by kneeling on his left leg. Syaoran open the door and walk in the room avoiding his mother's eyes. "yes , mother how could I help you? Yelen picked up her jasmine tea, using the lid of the cup to sweep away the tea leaves in the cup. She took a long sip. "Syaoran, do you have feelings for that girl? Sakura?" She said her name like a swear word. Syaoran remained silent. Yelen made a clicking noise with her tongue and muttered something like "some son this is." Yelen turned to her personal servants. "please come back in when I tell you to." They all obeyed quietly, until all of them went away, Yelen asked again , "Syaoran, do you have feelings for that servant girl?"

He waited for a second before he replied , " yes mother. I believe so. But my feelings were no near strong I just notice her from the crowd." Yelen walked over to Syaoran, he thought his mother was going to slap him but instead she did something even worst she gave him a lecture. " How dare you Syaoran? You're the most powerful and everyone is looking at you and you go for a ugly, disgusting , cheap and a nobody? When you have beautiful, elegant , rich royal blood girls? You should be ashamed of yourself. How could you!"

A servant called " The King's royal uncle arrives." Yelen glared at the doors and told Syaoran, " I see your savior came to your rescue, again and again you escape from my lectures.

"Hello Syaoran, dear sister."

"Sit." Said Yelen still using that cold tone.

"I see, Syaoran, Yelen gave you one of those famous lectures?" he laugh lightly and beckon him over the jade table. " As you saw all of the servant girls this morning, you'll have to put them in work places."

Syaoran only nodded for response.

The went through the list, and it's Yuki's name next. "Yuki, " said Yelen slowly. "Yuki…Yuki Wong?"

"Yes ,Yuki Wong, is there a matter?" said Uncle.

"Yuki Wong have no reason to be in here become a servant, but since she asked for it I'll give her the chance." She smirked. " She'll be in the kitchens"

Uncle and Syaoran raised their eyebrows not knowing what did the queen is talking about and moved on.

"That's ok sister, ok, how about Sakura? She seems very beautiful and well taught with manners,"

"No, don't even think about it, She will not stand a chance to come near my son. Even if she is well taught, I don't want Syaoran going for a nobody. To make sure of that, she will be placed at the Chan's."

"But sister, she'll suffer you know them. They tried everything."  
"That's the point, she'll suffer and not have a time to talk to contact him or anyone. Serve her right, trying to take my son's heart."

That was too much for Syaoran.

"Mother, she's just a servant that doesn't know anything, she didn't try to steal my heart, I don't like her at all." Lied Syaoran.

" Li Syaoran. Your face wrote the words "I care for her" do you think I don't know what you want to do? No she won't be in your block she will forever stay in that dratted Chan's" Yelen said sternly.

Syaoran gave her a death glare.

" Syaoran, you want your eyes take off or you want them to be on?" That's when he decided to stop. " One more thing before you go, you – emperor Xiao Lang will not even see her or talk to her, are you clear?"

"Crystal" muttered Syaoran and walk out of the room and slamming the wooden doors hard.

The only thing Uncle could do is to sigh.

Next morning Sakura woke up remembering today the emperor will place her in a block or a place with a job. She hope she have not failed, and disappoint her family. She splash water on her face and trying to remember the emperor's face.

A second ago the emperor frowned and slump on his chair but later when I walk closer he seemed happy or enlighten to see me.

No…why will he like me a nobody, a girl so poor that we have to starve everyday? She laughed at herself. She used her sleeve to wipe away the water on her face. Fixing her hair and made a conclusion that the emperor saw his sweetheart behind her. She dropped the subject and went back to her dorm and quietly dressed in a light blue qipao.

"Ayumi" said Xiao Lang. He hand her a parchment , " you'll be in the 4th princess block. My sister." Ayumi hold the parchment near her chest and nodded. He walk to Yuki and sigh heavily. He hand her a parchment from the guard. "you'll be working in –

"your place?" said Yuki hopefully with puppy eyes. "No Yuki in the kitchens." Yuki's mouth drop to the ground, she shook Syaoran, but the guards stopped her before she even get to touch him. " Get off, you can't do this to me, I tried so hard, you can't you can't." The guards drag her to aside.

Syaoran sighed and walk to the next girl which turned out to be Sakura. He handed him a scroll. " Sakura, You'll work at the Chan's," Sakura which knew nothing about them just gave him a nod. " Also read carefully , and remember I'm helping you not putting you to the edge of the cliff. Well I have to tell the other girls too, good luck."

Sakura walk to those golden gates that guard the forbidden city. She could only sigh and clutch the parchment the emperor just gave her.

After arriving to the gates of Chan's family, she opened the parchment and starting to read Syaoran's neat handwriting.

Dear Sakura ,

I'm sorry, I really do, I don't know what to say, this is the fourth letter I try to write to you, other's sound stupid. You did really well in the course of training to be a servant, the other girl's say. My uncle try to put you to be my personal servant but my mother, Queen Yelan disapprove. She – dislikes you , you see. She think it's the best to put you to the Chan's so you could stay away from me. Don't mind her, she's over protective. I did try and try to convince mother that you are very good, and well trained. My Uncle and I try our hardest but Queen is higher than me – for now. But for now, I only can wish you good luck. Good luck.

Emperor Syaoran.

Tears drip from Sakura's eyes to the parchment. The Emperor fought with the queen for me, me a nobody , me a servant girl. Do I worth so much to let the emperor to think of me? To care for me? I don't know. All I could say is – thank you Emperor , I appreciate your kindness.

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Gemini-lover : how do you like it? R&R. Next chapter : Chan's family. Sorry for not updating for so long.


	5. The Chan's

I am who I am

PG –13

Summary : Sakura : poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant . Why does she have to be a servant ? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – speaking

… - remembering or dream

… – thinking

Disclaimer : ccs – don't own it – never did – never will

Thank you for reviewing :

aznanimegrl30

1-2-3-sakura-3-2-1

azn.cherri-gurl

VcChick

Cherryblossom93

Kokari

xxkrn-luvspellxx

sailorkukistarfire

Gemini-lover : hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy!

Syaoran : 19

Sakura : 18

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China , Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 4 : Chan's family

Last time :

The Emperor fought with the queen for me, me a nobody , me a servant girl. Do I worth so much to let the emperor to think of me? To care for me? I don't know. All I could say is – thank you Emperor , I appreciate your kindness.

She wiped her tears onto her sleeves and took a deep breath. " I'll do my best and I will impress the queen to let me go back to the palace. In the Chan's I won't get a payment, I won't give up until I get back." She proudly said to herself. She build back her confidence and walked to the wooden doors. She knocked Three times , waited until there was a high shrill said , " Who is it? Grace go open the door." There were footsteps coming to the door, the doors were open and revealed a skinny girl. She smiled lightly to her and walked in.

" Is this the Chan family?"

The girl nodded lightly. The shrill voice is back. " Who is it? Grace?"

" Miss , is your personal helper."

" Servant you mean? Yes I've been expecting her, Grace invite her in. She'll catch a cold if she keep standing outside."

She only thinks servant are there to help her do everything.

Grace led her to the living room and curtsied infront of the young elegant girl. The young girl – Miss , Grace calls – is eying her in a huge amount of time until she said coldly. " I see you're not as bad as the others. Now move out of my sight and I'll call you when I need you." She returned to her jewelry.

Sakura nodded and followed Grace to the maid's room. Grace started the conversation first, " So as you know my name is Grace what's yours?"

" Sakura , nice to meet you."

" You too, life here is not as easy as you think. It might even be worst here than the palace."

" How so? Definitely they won't kill you or imprison you."

" Not those but they might pick on you or if you did something light, they'll exaggerate the punishment." Grace pulled up her sleeves revealed a bright red mark on her arm.

Sakura fearfully looked at the mark and just nodded. " I'll be careful."

Next morning she washed herself in cold water and went into the young miss room as she was told this morning by Grace. Sakura thought Miss Elizabeth - as she heard Grace talked about her last night – is a very spoiled, rich and daddy's little girl. Sakura waited outside of the kitchen to wait for Elizabeth's breakfast. The kitchen maid hand her a tray decorated with beautiful flowers which have a plate of steam buns and jasmine tea on it. Sakura eyed the plate, that is very little food for a grown up girl. " She's keeping a diet , but she's as skinny as a stick." The kitchen girl interrupted Sakura's thoughts. Sakura just smiled lightly and walked to Elizabeth room.

Day by day all Sakura's doing is to get her food , get anything she wanted, and helped her to bath in a wooden tub. She wondered how can she survived like this forever. Once or twice the young woman will ask Sakura how is she doing and seems wants to be nice to her.

One typical night, Sakura place Elizabeth's food on the table and unexpectedly Elizabeth asked something Sakura never thought of before.

" What are your dreams? Sakura?"

" Dreams miss? No I never had dreams before, I live in reality."

" Everyone have a dream Sakura and I dare say when you were little you defiantly have some dreams."

" I guess so, miss , my dreams are far too little compared to yours miss."

Elizabeth likes the sound of she's the greatest.

" That's quite true. My dreams are far better than others."

Can't Elizabeth be a bit humble? Seriously

" Miss? May I ask, do you know the Wong family?"

" Wong? Yes I do, what's wrong with that?"

" There's nothing wrong miss, but please forgive for my nosiness but why? Why is Yuki Wong became a servant?"

Elizabeth seemed to have a little smirk on her lips.

" Yuki? I personally think she's stupid to go to be a servant. She's rich and have a good life, but she found something is missing. Unlike me she's no royalty. My family is related to the powerful Li family. My father is Queen Yelan's brother in law." She paused before she started again. " Of course she wants to be a royalty like me. In order to do that, she must be married to the Li family."

So I was right, Yuki did want to go to the palace for a reason.

" If you heard six months ago, Queen Yelan hand picked girls in the Palace, and Yuki was in there too, but she didn't make it. Well nobody did, including me. Yes I was disappointed but it's sure makes me feel good when that Yuki girl can't make it to the top just like me. Well the emperor seems not want to be married in a tradition way, blind marriage. Blind marriage is like not knowing each other and just marry, later on they will develop their relationship. I dare say if my cousin won't get a wife, Queen Yelan will make him do so. And of course the number 1 girl on Aunt Yelan must be me, since I'm so pretty and well educated."

She's so full of herself. I highly doubt Emperor will choose her.

" Of course miss, you're so pretty and elegant."

" That's so true, everyone tells me that."

Sure.

The next 3 weeks past as boring as the first, then there was a special visitor who came. The special visitor is master's brother's son. The young master wanted to be address as Alex . He have well built body and a pair of silver eyes. He smiled and came in when Sakura went to open door. Young master Alex took a bite of the biscuit young miss offered. Master – Elizabeth's father – stand up and lead Alex to one of the writing rooms. However before they went in the room, master ordered a pot of jasmine tea. After accompanied Elizabeth to her room, Sakura rushed to the kitchen wait for the pot of Jasmine tea. She walked slowly to the writing room, the jasmine tea is very heavy along with the two china cups.

When she was quite close to the writing room, a heavier voice said, " We better plot against my sister in law before they can see us through."

The other voice which belong to Alex's, " How Uncle? We tried to put Elizabeth in the Palace but that Emperor of hers doesn't want to marry. Goodness an Emperor needs descendents and only he doesn't want any."

" No, he's too young, 19 ! Why would he think about descendents, Alex use your brain next time."

" Sorry Uncle. Sorry."

" Alright, quit the apologizing, think what kind of plan we can plot against Yelan to get the money and throne."

" We could hire assassinates and kill all of them, and the Li family will die without a descendent." Alex gave a cold laugh.

" That will work , but these years nephew Syaoran made the soldier train harder than before, even the best assassinates cannot get in there."

" God damn it. How else can we do this."

" Keep thinking, where is that dratted girl with my pot of jasmine tea. Taking such a long time."

This is when Sakura came knocking on the door of the writing room.

" Come in, what took you so long?"

Sakura came in, put the pot of tea on the table. " Sorry master, I made sure miss Elizabeth have what she wants first."

" Yes , you should."

Sakura put the two cups on the table and poor three quarters of tea in each cup. " You may go now."

Sakura is back in her room, thinking about what the two said.

_We better plot against my sister in law before they can see us through." _

_The other voice which belong to Alex's, " How Uncle? We tried to put Elizabeth in the Palace but that Emperor of hers doesn't want to marry. Goodness an Emperor needs descendents and only he doesn't want any." _

" _No, he's too young, 19 ! Why would he think about descendents, Alex use your brain next time."_

" _Sorry Uncle. Sorry." _

" _Alright, quit the apologizing, think what kind of plan we can plot against Yelan to get the money." _

" _We could hire assassinates and kill all of them, and the Li family will die without a descendent." Alex gave a cold laugh. _

" _That will work , but these years nephew Syaoran made the soldier train harder than before, even the best assassinates cannot get in there." _

" _God damn it. How else can we do this._

I cannot let them to think of another reason , the poor or plewill be even more miserable if those Chan's rule over China. I somehow need to inform the emperor and Queen Yelan.

my mother, Queen Yelan disapprove. She – dislikes you , you see. She think it's the best to put you to the Chan's so you could stay away from me

Queen Yelan disapprove me, she doesn't like me, maybe she even hates me. Why should I take the risk, I should just ignore the Chan's and give Queen a good impression to let me back in the Palace.

But then Chinese lives will be ruined and we might suffer more than ever.

Sakura is now weighing the two points. Tell Emperor, Don't tell Emperor, Tell Emperor, Don't tell Emperor….

" What should I do? What should I do?"

Sakura finally made up her mind to tell the Emperor, but how ? She can't get to the Palace or she'll get caught by the Queen. " Now what!" Then there was a thought in her head. Letter, use a pigeon to deliver the letter.

She grabbed a piece of paper, Chinese calligraphy brush also some ink and quickly wrote 7 words.

Chan's are plotting against your family. – Sakura

She rolled it hastily and ran to the yard to grab a pigeon and attach the parchment to it's leg. " Fly north to the palace please." The pigeon took flight and flew higher and higher and flying to the north.

" Thank you , thank you. Please Emperor of China, I hope you believe my words even I'm the lowest. I wish my country save and peaceful. Please believe me. Please."

The only thing she can do is to wait for Emperor's reply and she hope the reply is to believe in her. The tricky part will be Queen Yelan. Will she believe me too?

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Gemini-lover : how do you like it? R&R. Next chapter : Believe in her and go against mother? Note : Chapter name might change.


	6. Forced to not believe her

I am who I am

PG –13

Summary : Sakura : poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant . Why does she have to be a servant ? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – speaking

… - remembering or dream

… – thinking

Disclaimer : nope, highly doubt it

Thanks for reviewing

VcChick

meow-mix23

ffgirl-07

1-2-3-sakura-3-2-1

Gemini-lover : hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy!

Syaoran : 19

Sakura : 18

----------------

China , Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 5 - forced to not believe her

Last time : " Thank you , thank you. Please Emperor of China, I hope you believe my words even I'm the lowest. I wish my country save and peaceful. Please believe me. Please."

The only thing she can do is to wait for Emperor's reply and she hope the reply is to believe in her. The tricky part will be Queen Yelan. Will she believe me too?

Emperor Li Syaoran is practicing his Chinese Calligraphy. Perfectly he ended the word with a long, soft stroke. He smiled at the paper proudly. I did a better job than before.

There was a swoosh side and in came a pigeon, Syaoran looked curiously at it and realize there was a letter attached to it's leg. He gently picked it up and untied the parchment which read,

" Chan's are plotting against your family. – Sakura"

" Sakura? The girl who went to the Chan's?"

" yes," said the little voice in his brain , " The one you like."

" Shut up. Trying to think here. If the Chan's are…"

" Master Li," a voice interrupted his thoughts , it was one of those guards that watch the birds fly in and out, " We thought we saw a pigeon flew in, so mistress Li told us to check the pigeon or letter."

" There's no need for that …"

The guard didn't let him finish, " Sorry master, but the queen's rules are the highest, I'll get my head chop off if I don't obey."

" No, I'll tell mother, there's –

" No need for that." His mother finished the sentence for him. " I've heard, I saw there was a pigeon flew in your room. For the safety of China's ruler, I've got to check."

Syaoran thought quick. If mother saw the letter, she'll be out of her mind. She did told me not to contact her, but she never mention Sakura cannot contact with me. The thought of that is too risky. Mother might punish me, I don't mind but she might even punish Sakura. God knows how the Chan's treat Sakura.

" Mother? Is was just a random letter. Somebody send it in just to laugh me. It's really nothing." Making sound common and simple

" A note? That's not good, Emperor of China got a note to laugh at him , I never heard that before." .

Crap, what did I got myself in.

" Mother, it's ok, I'm not scared or in danger or something."

" I don't allow it," she turned to the guard. " Guards you will guard Emperor Li 24/7? You understand? Do not let anyone to come in, except for his uncle and me . Don't let any pigeon or birds in, he will not get this again. If anything goes wrong, it's only your heads I cut off."

The guards swallowed, nodded and went out to tell the others.

Why is his mother such a paranoid, why is she fretting something like a note? Is just made up.

" I don't want your reputation get ruin just right after your dad died. You'll let our kingdom loose our face."

" Stop fussing over a stupid note, it's just a note."

" Just a note, you say son? Just a note? No that is not JUST A NOTE. You're not suppose to have a note to laugh at. What if that news got out of the kingdom? What if the whole country knows Syaoran? What will you do? We have no more dignity to rule. You must not think it's just a note. You'll set a bad image to the whole China."

Syaoran's tongue was faster than his brain. " NO mother is just a made up story that letter is send by Saku-

God, what did I just do.

" What did you just said? Syaoran you cannot be! You lied to your mother because the DREAM GIRL write something to you? Didn't I tell not to contact or even talk to the girl? Why did you start talking to her again? You forgot what you were suppose to do Syaoran. You two have been planning or talking for more than a month?"

Syaoran shook his head, " No mother, there wasn't even a leaf flew in my room. I didn't get any letter."

" Speaking of letter, hand it over."

" N-no, mo-mother I – I can't."

" Is it not personal?" He shook his head again. " Good then you can show me."

Syaoran clutch on the note harder and harder. He's not sure if Sakura's news is trusted or fake. If it was trusted the Chan's are plotting a big plan against them a big time. But if it's fake, he'll embarrass himself infront of the whole China after telling the whole world the kingdom is going to be taken over. Not only embarrass himself but also the ancestor's for having such a gullible descendent.

I better tell mother this, wait she doesn't trust Sakura, She won't believe it. Mother thinks she'll be lying anyways.

" No," His voice now was confident. Sakura might be right, after last time Chan's try to plot against them. " No mother, it's not for you , it's address to me. If it was for you, it will fly into your room instead of your room."

" How dare you speak to me like this! Li Xiao Lang, I didn't educate you like this, I gave you the best and you gave me this attitude." " You'll give the letter to me NOW."

Syaoran didn't dare to disobey his mother, angrily he slam the piece of paper on Yelan's hand.

Yelan read quickly at the words on that parchment. This girl is right, The Chan's have been plotting against us.

Last time they did :

_Three days before the announcement, Li kingdom have post posters to tell everyone Emperor King is going to marry a rich, beautiful girl. _

_Many people came and sign up, two days came and past and finally is the day of the announcement._

_On top of the stage there sat Queen Yelan and her son, Emperor Li. _

"_I will choose the girls to come to the palace with me to marry Emperor Syaoran." Said Yelan in a very loud voice. _

_Rich girls prepared themselves, this is more or less like a talent show, showing your talent to make your family proud by marrying an Emperor. Many girls performed, some perform arts, drama, singing, and dance. In front of the line, there stand Elizabeth Chan. She was going to perform by writing a poem in such short time. _

_She made up 2-3 lines slowly like she concentrate hard, until a voice said. " My Royal Queen and Emperor, the girl have no talent, on her sleeve hid a sheet of paper which have a poem written on it." Everyone gasped. Chan's dignity in the country is very high, and Elizabeth Chan did something so CHEAP? _

_While everyone was discussing this, the young emperor stood up which amaze the whole country. Usually the emperor just ignore all, let all pass, and let his mother to decide everything. _

" _Dear all citizen of Beijing. This talent show of my mother is to make me marry a girl and make China even more powerful. I would not like to marry a girl who wants money, and wants more power. Because I would not marry until I could see the girl of my dreams. One who likes me for who I am not what I am. Not for what I have. I will not marry any girl here since all of them have the same reason to be here. Is to get marry to the Li family so you could have a good life and power. Sorry to disappoint all of you but I never thought of marrying anyways."_

_All of the people gasped, even Queen Yelan. How could his son just embarrass Li's face just like that. The girls were ashamed and bowed down their heads when Queen and Emperor Li starting to leave. _

_Then there was a tantrum in the palace next day. About making China a powerful place and bride to choose. After all of the screaming and shouting, Yelan found that there was no use to tell her son what to do. He would not give in so easily. He's stubborn and he doesn't want any trouble for now. Since his Dad just died and Syaoran have to take over so early. But Yelan said it was too late, the earlest was 6 years old to rule._

O yes, I remember this, I do actually believe what Syaoran said, he's right, everyone wants to marry in Li family because they want to be even richer and powerful. I also believe in Sakura words but, but I cannot just let Sakura near my son. It's disgraceful, letting a servant girl loving a royalty. Disgusting.

" I've decided that – that girl's words were unreal." Yelan force herself to say those words. I know this is wrong, Syaoran, but I really want you to have a good life and wife to make China powerful. This is my best choice.

" Mother you knew from heart those Chan's are plotting against us. But why do you still want to believe you are right." Said Syaoran angrily.

" I 'm your mother Li Xiao Lang. I have the priority to say I'm right and in the other hand you don't. I want you to be perfect and happy and not to believe that – that girl's words. I would like you to send a word to that girl and tell her you don't believe her. That's final Syaoran. Don't argue with me." She walked out of the room leaving Xiao Lang with his mouth open.

He rushed to his writing room and grabbed a brush, ink and paper to tell Sakura what happen.

Dear Sakura,

I believe what you say, and I know the Chan's are plotting against us but I cannot do anything about it. Mother doesn't want to believe your words are true. But don't worry I promise I'm at your side. I thank you to warn me. I'll try to convince my mother. I hope you are well. Any signs of movement of the Chan's tell me. I'll prepare for it.

Thank you

Syaoran.

He rushed to the pigeon which sat on his desk for a very long time. Clumsily he placed the letter to it's foot and throw the pigeon up.

" I believe you Sakura, but please forgive my mother."

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Gemini-lover : You like it ? R&R. Next chapter : letters flying from royal palace


	7. A dream became a nightmare

I am who I am

PG –13

Summary: Sakura, a very poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant. Why does she have to be a servant? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – Speaking

… - Remembering or dream

… – Thinking

Disclaimer: sure I'll own them in my afterlife maybe if I'm lucky enough.

Thanks for reviewing:

Xxsoulesswriter

Kokari

I-AM-THE-LUMP

Shyblossom

Mencar.no i am not a boy

Lady Dark Angel

Meow-mix23

VcChick

Krnanimegrl

Ffgirl-07

1-2-3-sakura-3-2-1

Gemini-lover: hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy! If I have tense problem don't flame me! Not everyone is as perfect as you guys.

Syaoran: 19

Sakura: 18

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China, Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 6: A dream became a nightmare

Sakura scrub hard on the floor, sweat drip from her face, wiping her forehead onto her sleeves. After his reply came back, Sakura and Syaoran have been writing to each other. Pigeons will land on their beds or floor, waiting for them to take the parchment. Sometimes they use the royal palace's pigeons, sometimes are the Chan's pigeons. Sakura knew very well, she was not allowed to use any of Chan's things and property, but she didn't care, she has company for once in her life. In many letters, Sakura was told that Syaoran's mother forbid him to write to Sakura, but he didn't care too, he just keep on writing to Sakura, spilling secrets and frustrations like a diary. Sakura was happy to listen, replying Syaoran's question from her points of view, and they seem to get along very well, which is quite unusual for a servant girl and an emperor of China.

A few days, he have been telling Sakura, his mother is trying to get him into a relationship which he doesn't even know who is the girl or her name. Sakura thought about this bitterly, if the emperor got married, nobody would understand her anymore, no one to talk to and will be alone again. But she cannot be so selfish and so she replied you should follow what your heart desires.

Syaoran's and Sakura's relationship seems to be closer and closer, although they haven't seen each other for quite a long period of time but that doesn't hurt their friendship between them. They gave each other the best help, always there for each other, and always supporting. That was more than Sakura wanted, she wanted a friend, but she didn't just have a friend. She got a very helpful, powerful, supportive friend, and he allows her to call him by his first name. Syaoran or Xiao Lang. As for Syaoran, he got what he wants too, since he was the emperor of China, he doesn't have a lot of friends, actually he only got his annoying cousins, but Syaoran never cared about them. Syaoran got his only wish, someone to understand him, and share his problems and frustrations with another. And that is Sakura, Sakura a servant but can see his heart clearly, knows what he's thinking and planning. However Syaoran never treat Sakura like a servant, he treated her as a friend.

Sakura tried to rub the floor very hard, but the stain on the marble floor doesn't seem to get off the floor. She wants to quit, but she kept telling herself she could succeed. There came fast but faint footsteps coming from the corridors. The footstep seems to walk over to Elizabeth's room that Sakura is working in. She just ignored it and just kept scrubbing. She stopped and looks behind her when she heard a panting voice said, " Sa-Sakura…Sakura…the mas-master and mi-ss-tress is in the liv-ing room, waiting for you."

" Me? But I didn't do anything, actually I didn't do anything bad the whole time I was here!"

Grace was still gasping for breath just shrugged. She led Sakura to the living room, where unmistakably the master and mistress are waiting for her. The master was pacing left and right of the room, he have a red face. The mistress's mouth was in a thin line, and fist clench to her handkerchief. Elizabeth and Alex got a smirk on their faces.

Sakura just curtsy and said, " May I help you Master Chan?"

After a few seconds, Master Chan finally stop pacing and starting to bark at Sakura.

" You, girl do you know why are you here?"

" N-No Sir. May I ask why?"

There were giggles from Elizabeth and Alex is trying his hardest to hide his smile.

" You very sure? Servant girl? You sure you never did anything disobeying?"

Sakura tried to scan through everything past these weeks.

letters, cleaning, orders , baths, washing…

" Such as … things that belong to you?"

using their brushes to clean the floor, using my soup they provided…I defiantly didn't do anything to step over the line

She shook her head, still thinking hard.

" What have you been doing these few weeks."

" Cleaning, following orders, obeying your words ," said Sakura . " Write-

" Letters?"

" How did you know?" she was so shocked that phrase came out without passing her brain. She covered her mouth not daring to speak another word.

" You see, girl after all you are using things that does not belong to you, you dirty little beggar."

Sakura cannot do anything except letting does words hit her heart, causing her tears form in her eyes.

" So I was right, how dare you use my things without my permission. How dare you, when you know you are an untouchable. When you know you are not allow. When you know you are putted her because you fail the test of the royal palace."

I didn't not fail. It's just Yelan doesn't like me.

" They must have abandons you here and let us to take care of you. But sorry we don't adopt a beggar and such a poor freak like you."

I didn't got abandon, I'm trying to let my father and my brother a better lives.

At this point, Elizabeth got an evil smile on her face. She walked to her father and calm him down.

" It's ok, you can relax, you don't want your blood pressure to go up high again for that ugly hag. This have something to do with me anyways. I am allowed and able to teach this little brat something."

She walked around Sakura.

" So, you sent letters to a person a whole month? Who is that person? Why do you need to sent those letters? Is HE so important to you?"

" I- don't know what you are talking about." Said Sakura quietly, her temper was hold in her cheeks.

" I'm not too sure about that ." As she is talking she took out a piece of long parchment. She began to read it.

" On 21st of February you said, I miss being in the palace, it's much more crowded, I'm so lonely."

" On 29th of February you said , let's be friends, we can share our problems together."

Those are my personal letters, she have no write to open my letters.

" On 14th March, you wrote, you should be listening to your mother and marry a rich girl but it really depends on you. I rather you choose from your heart."

Sakura now is clenching her fist, tears flowing from her eyes, like a never ending waterfall.

She folded the piece of paper.

" So who are you writing to?"

" I was writing to a friend of mine." She lied.

" O…where does she live?" Elizabeth pretending to not know.

Please don't ask me any more.

" Near my house. She lives next to me."

She'll find out soon enough.

"And where is your house?" She asked more.

" I live east of the palace."

" you are a horrible liar. The guards that guard the pigeons said they always fly north TO the royal palace."

" You – you spy at me? Why me?"

" Of course you, what do you think? Alex?" She gave a shrilled laugh.

" How – could you?"

" Why not? You're writing to my cousin, Syaoran. He's suppose to be mine, and then me and my family can always live in peace. And if he die or we'll make him die we'll be the next to the throne."

Sakura just stared at her wide eyes.

" O don't worry. I'll make sure I'll get him before you. He's mine anyways. If he ever consider you as his bride. He'll definitely take me since I'm pretty and well educated. Unlike disgusting girl."

The temper in her cheeks cannot hold any longer.

" STOP INSULTING ME LIKE I OWN MY LIFE TO YOU."

Without notice Elizabeth's hand slapped Sakura's left cheek there is a small handprint there and it happens to be a bright red. Sakura touched her cheek softly, more tears rolled down causing the mark hurt a little more.

" How dare you speak to me like that. I have a much higher status than you – freak-

" I'M OUT OF HERE , I CANNOT STAND YOU PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE A SLAVE, I CANNOT BEAR IT! YOU PEOPLE TREAT THE POOR LIKE DIRT." Sakura shouted at the top of her voice.

Elizabeth tried to grab hold of her hair but she couldn't reach since Sakura ran to the doors. There were a pair of strong hand grab hold of her, she cannot move herself out. It turned out to be Alex.

" Now where do you think you are going?"

" AWAY, AWAY FROM THIS CREEPY PLACE WHERE PEOPLE TREAT THE LOWER ONES BAD." Sakura still shouting.

Alex brought Sakura infront of Elizabeth. Who gave her a couple more slaps on both cheeks before letting her fall on the floor. Sakura, her mouth bleeding, she press her sleeve to stop it. There were bruises on her lips which makes it swollen.

" You're not going anywhere, " Alex turned to Master Chan. " Change of plan Uncle, we use Sakura to take over the throne…

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Gemini-lover : leave you with a cliffy so ya…hoped you enjoyed that…R&R please…thanks for your reviews and next chapter : weighting both solutions.


	8. Choosing between the two

I am who I am

PG –13

Summary: Sakura, a very poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant. Why does she have to be a servant? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – Speaking

… - Remembering or dream

… – Thinking

Disclaimer: sure I'll own them in my afterlife maybe if I'm lucky enough.

Thanks for reviewing... 3 YOU GUYS

Kokari

animeotaku

mencar.no i am not a boy

ffgirl-07

MeoDy

krnanimegrl

ChaosAngelz

Blah

1-2-3-sakura-3-2-1

Nanie-san

Gemini-lover: hope this story is a successful one, and enjoy! If I have tense problem don't flame me! Not everyone is as perfect as you guys.

Syaoran: 19

Sakura: 18

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China, Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 7: choosing over the two of them

"Get up, get up, we have a long day before us."

A sharp voice shouts in Sakura's ear. She stirred in her sleep, thinking she was back to her dad and brother, having a good life, don't need to live by crops.

"Wake Up!" shouted Alex.

He slapped Sakura across the face which made a very mark over the old marks.

Her dream faded as she open her eyes; there were a pair of cold eyes staring back at her. She was dragged to the hall after she went to wash herself up.

"Why there you are, you are to obey me and other's instructions, if you don't, you'll be killed. You understand?"

She nodded her head fearfully and bowed.

I don't want to end my life like this; I want to be with my family, in my father's arms at the very least.

The tied double figures 8 knot to her hands which were pulled behind her back. They place her behind a horse; get dragged on the ground, if the horse is galloping. Her sides hurt from dragged on the ground, she ate a huge amount of sand, and there were people throwing things at her in the market. In those days, if a person is dragged by a horse or donkey, it symbolize the person did something wrong. Reasonable enough, Sakura did something wrong, did is her punishment.

She cried with pain, and shouted all the way from the Chan's to the royal palace.

Sakura was so shocked when she found out herself is going to appear in front of the emperor.

How could I face him, he'll think I betray him.

Meanwhile –

"Emperor, there is an unknown cart and horse coming this way; it might be an attacker, or enemy."

The Queen spoke first, "Protect the emperor; I'll go outside to see the unknown cart." However before she could even get up and walk out of the main hall. There was another guard who rushes in and said.

"Queen, the cart belongs to the Chan, and behind the horse there's a girl of 18 dragged on the road."

"SAKURA-"

He ran from the great hall to the front of forbidden city as fast as he could and there stood the Chans and the poor, dirty girl on the ground eating as much dust as the journey possibly can.

What did they do to you...?

Yelan arrive behind them shortly.

"Long time no see my dears. How nice to have you both here. Yelan, do try and enjoy this great show I'm about to put on."

"About a month ago, there were around 100 girls chosen to practice in the royal palace for best manners and behavior. Then Yelan, you hand pick them. For some reason, the girl here is placed in our family?" He pointed at the ground.

"We Chans are one part of the royal family although not blood relatives but marriage for many years. It's a very respectful marriage. We know how much you hate us dear Yelan. On the matter of fact we don't care. But how could you place a spy in to our house? We did not harm you at all but you picked on us? Is this true Yelan?"

Her face was pure white as a sheet of white paper. She got her confidence back. "Why would you say something like that? Chan, you were the one that wants our throne, according to Sakura. You're the one that wants our money."

Syaoran bewilderedly looked at his mother, "You believe in Sakura all along? Mother I thought you didn't like Sakura."

"Yes son, I didn't like Sakura at first, I actually didn't like her at all. I believe an untouchable should never mix a relationship with the highest. Also you are the emperor of China. How would you like it when everyone knows you got a maid as a friend?"

"I don't mind, Sakura is my friend, she's very nice to me, she understands and listens to me. She knows how I feel, my likes and dislikes. She is a very good listener and gives good advice. I don't know what's wrong to have a servant girl as a friend. Also I don't classify her as a servant but a very good friend."

"I knew someday you're going to say it, that's why I didn't like Sakura at all. I can see in her eyes that she is someone who uses you, tell me Sakura, do you want to be an empress?"

Sakura tries to stand up, but her body doesn't have enough strength to. She bows her head, and quietly said, "Not in my whole life, my majesty."

Syaoran tried to walk over to Sakura, but his mother blocks him to her.

"Don't go near that girl, Syaoran, you never know what she thinks."

"She's a friend, she gave you facts that the Chans did come to steal away the throne. You even said you believe her."

"Yes I did believe her but I can never stand that you get along with a servant girl."

"Sorry to break your drama, my sister in law. Go grab the queen and the girl Alex, Elizabeth."

They quickly rounded the both of them. Syaoran tried to grab hold of Elizabeth but Alex kicked him in the stomach. Syaoran fell on the floor hard.

"Please don't hurt them."

"Awww... is little Syaoran begging?" Chan turned around and walk over to Yelan and Sakura.

"Sorry, but I hope my nephew doesn't hurt you."

He pace around them and walks to Syaoran.

"Since you're my nephew, I'll give you a choice. You either get to get your mother back, or you're getting back Sakura, the servant girl. So it's your choice, and also you only get a little time to think. If you don't choose, I guess both of them don't mind to live in the dungeons in my house."

This is not good, if I choose Sakura, then my mother will die in their hands. Mother is the only one that helped me always, although she is strict but she loves me. Where Sakura does not love me, but she knows my feelings and she understands.

Sakura is trying to free herself from Alex. Unfortunately, Alex is too strong for her.

"No, no Syaoran. Please I'm not worth it, as queen said that I'm a servant. Please don't choose me, the queen is very important."

"No I will not give up either of you, I cannot be that cold hearted."

At the side, there stood the queen hold by Elizabeth. She saw how close the girl and her son are. Even the world ends, they cannot be separated.

"You got your choose yet? I don't have all day, my majesty."

Syaoran stood up and face Chan.

"Surprisingly, I do. And my choice is the both of them."

Chan laughed loudly and hold Syaoran's face close to his.

"No, boy. ONE."

"Fine, I will choose Sakura."

There were gasps from Sakura.

"Choose me? Why, why did you sacrifice your mother's life for me?"

Syaoran smiled a little. "You'll see."

Syaoran turned around, "Take them away guards. Lock them up, their crime is treason."

Guards rounded up the whole Chan family, as long with the cousin. "You don't have proved on me, Syaoran."

"The girl is prove, dear brother in law. Take them away, I'm sick of them."

The queen walked back to the palace with the guards. Leaving Sakura and Syaoran behind. They have quite a distance with each other.

Sakura ran to Syaoran, jump into his arm, which pulled her to a hug.

"I was so scared; I thought I was going to be abused again. In their house was horrible. They treated me worst than the palace. Why did you choose me over your mother? Do you know your mother is much more important than me?"

I hope in his heart, I'm more important than Yelan.

"I- I choose you because if they catch the Chan trying to hurt the queen they'll have worst punishment...and besides, I think you're...

"Yes?"

"Let's just go back. Maybe we can get your job back in here in the palace."

Sakura hugged him one last time, and unexpectedly she gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

"My hero."

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Gemini-lover: Sorry for the delay. Gomen ! REVIEW

6


	9. Risking for her

I am who I am

PG –13  turning to M soon

Summary: Sakura, a very poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty into the royal palace to be a servant. Why does she have to be a servant? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – Speaking

… - Remembering or dream

… – Thinking

Disclaimer: sure I'll own them in my afterlife maybe if I'm lucky enough.

Thanks for reviewing...LOVE YOU GUYS

Christine

Mencar.no i am not a boy

1-2-3-sakura-3-2-1

ffgirl-07

krnanimegrl

Gemini-lover: I'm not as bad as you think I guess...REVIEW and if you think its good, RECOMMEND IT.

Syaoran: 19

Sakura: 18

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China, Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 8: let me think about it

Chatting happily, Sakura and Syaoran walked arm in arm, heading back to the great hall. On the way, they didn't catch the looks from servants and guards. They gave the couple or Sakura dirty looks. They all hated her because there was a rumor going on. That she is here to steal the emperor's heart. And she is trying to be the empress of China.

As you see the rumor would not start if Yelan haven't screamed and lost her temper.

"_Syaoran, how could you write to the girl behind my back? What does she want? Luxury? Money? Does she know her place?"_

Yep, you see now, that's what everyone's mine is thinking about, to be an empress.

Still chatting happily, the both of them arrived to the great hall with laughter and smiles. In the hall, Yelan narrowed her eyes.

"Ahem, Emperor of China needs to know what he is doing."

Quickly as they could, they unlink their arms, and Syaoran pushed Sakura away. Incase the queen have anymore weird thoughts.

"That seems a bit better. Syaoran, but I do believe the whole clan is waiting for you to start the meeting."

Syaoran looked over to the right side, there standing unmistakably the whole clan.

"I'll see you later, Sakura."

Sakura nodded and followed to the path of the servant's room.

She entered and there were three gasps, there stood Satora, Ana and Yuki.

"Oh my goodness, is that you Sakura. What happened to you? You looked thinner than before." The first who spoke is Satora.

Ana and Satora ran to Sakura and the three hugged tightly

"Why are you so dirty, Sakura? We missed you so very much. Where were you sent to?"

"The chan's, they were horrible."

Sakura loosen the hug and move back slightly, still smiling she walked to Yuki. "Hey Yuki, long time no see."

"Why are you here? Didn't Queen get rid of you to the Chans for good?"

Satora and Ana walked to the both of them, "Why are you so mean to her? She didn't do anything to you, Yuki. She's your friend, she helped you loads."

"Haven't you heard? She's the one who contacted the emperor and she is here to steal his heart." Yuki point a finger to Sakura.

"Well, I did heard that Sakura. However I refuse to believe it until you told me so." Satora paused. She and Ana moved closer to Sakura. "Well did you, Sakura?"

"I'm not here to attract and to get myself a place in the palace. You guys know I'm not like that!"

"I knew it's not true, there are many rumors going on, saying you're trying to steal his heart, making sure you got the emperor."

Sakura started again slowly. "Although I could not deny me and the emperor haven't been sending letters."

"I told you, she's here to hook the emperor." Yuki smirked.

"I told you again and again, I'm not..."

"We know." said Ana and Satora together. "We believe you." The both of them gave glares to Yuki. Who was stared hard back at them.

There was a shout to break this tensed moment.

"Servant Sakura, you are being called by Emperor Syaoran."

Yuki gave the three of them an "I'm a right." look.

Sakura opened the door and saw a guard calling for her. "Yes, sorry sir, I'm coming."

Sakura gave Ana and Satora each a hug before she walk to the door following the guard out to the emperor's studies.

The guard knocked on the door and shouted for Syaoran.

"Emperor Li, I have brought you Servant Sakura."

"Good, thank you. You may leave now."

"Sorry, Queen said that I have to stay and keep an eye on Emperor."

"Thank you, you're allowed to leave."

"Queen's orders are-

"Leave."

The guard gave a disgusting look and walked away.

Sakura pushed open the door, and saw a very stressed out Syaoran. He has a hand on his forehead.

"O hey, come and takes a sit."

"I'm a servant, Syaoran."

"If you can call me, you don't regard me as the emperor. So sit down."

Sakura didn't dare to talk back, Syaoran seems very tired. She pulled a chair that is across Syaoran and sit down.

"How may I help you?"

"I'm very tired, I hate my life. Why does everyone have to look at me for everything? What does it different between you and me, Sakura?"

Sakura bowed her head, politely answered, "Syaoran, that's because you're the Emperor of China, of course everyone sets you as an example. Also why hate your life; your life will never be as bad as mine. You live with luxuries and money; you never get hungry or run out of money. When if we get some food we are satisfied, we have nothing really to look up to. We poor ones are unlike you; you have a reason to live, because you are rich, powerful."

Tears spilled from Sakura eyes, "Why would you hate your life when you have a better life than any of us, Syaoran."

Syaoran hold her hands in his, "Sorry, I don't mean to make you cry. I don't mean that. I just – just don't like my life, but I never knew that people in town have to suffer this much. I'm sorry I didn't understand just now."

Sakura nodded, "Thank you for understanding, Syaoran why did you want me to come?"

Syaoran suddenly remember why did Sakura need to come. "Sorry I almost forgot, I asked you to come to get your job back in the palace."

"Really, you will do that for me? You will help me get a job back in the palace?"

Syaoran held her hands in his, and nodded. "I'll do anything for you. You were the only one that understood me."

Sakura smiled. "It is my duty to fulfill my master's dreams."

"Let's go now, before anything comes to my mother's mind to pull us off- I mean – unable to get your job."

Sakura giggled and nodded. She took his outstretched hand and he guided her to the main palace where sat Yelan and the whole clan.

Sakura bowed on her knees to Yelan.

"Sakura greets Queen Yelan, hoping she will be living more than a hundred years and have a great health."

"You have a sweet mouth but unfortunately for your place. You may stand."

Sakura stood up again.

Syaoran bowed to his mother.

"Syaoran greets mother, wish that mother will have a peace in the country, and happier every day."

"Obviously, you are here to ask for something? Am I right?"

The both of them nodded.

"Tell me and you may have your wish granted."

Syaoran walked up holding softly on Sakura's hand.

"As we all know, that Sakura have been trained to be worked in the Palace. She did wonderful and all the judges love her. Even Uncle wants her to be on the top list. Somehow, Mother you disliked her. You have many things against Sakura. You didn't like her being my personal maid; you didn't like her position as a servant. You didn't like she was friends with me. That's because you're over protective. I'm eighteen, Mother; I believe I can do what ever I can."

"I know you are eighteen, Syaoran. But there are many things I fear, I fear that you'll be thrown off your throne. It had happened before I do not want to it to happen again. Also I don't trust that girl with you that's because she might want to be empress."

"Mother, how many times do I have to tell you, that Sakura is good and nice? She is not like the Chans. She does not plot anything. She doesn't plan anything. She just has a simple mind, wants to serve the palace and earn some wages to send off to her father and brother. It is that simple and straight forward. Why blame her on everything that she never done."

"You never know how her mind works, she might want to get on your good side and just use you later to take over the country."

Syaoran gripped on Sakura's hard, and he seems pretty angry.

"Mother, I don't care if you or the clan approve or not. But Sakura will be my personal servant."

"Syaoran, don't you dare."

The clan was speechless, Yelan turned to them.

"If I let Syaoran do anything he wants, he will want more things. Next he would want a marriage. Do something."

"We can't do anything Yelan." Zhang the oldest of the clan told her. "It's his decision we cannot do anything to stop him doing. The Clan only guides the emperor but not order him to do everything. We have no permission to do that."

Yelan sighed.

"I guessed I have no choice too, I've got to give in. You may have Sakura for personal servants but you'll have guards guarding the room you're living in."

"I sound like a prisoner than an emperor." Cried Syaoran. Yelan looked at the Clan and all of them just shrugged their shoulders.

Yelan gave a sigh again.

"There will not be personal guards or any other maids except for Sakura. However I DO NOT WANT – I REPEAT – I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU TWO! YOU UNDERSTAND. I've gave in too much, and if your wishes cross the line, Syaoran Li. You'll suffer the consequences."

Syaoran nodded happily along with Sakura. Sakura's smile is so big; her jaw is starting to hurt.

"Thank you, Queen Yelan. Thank you. I owe my life to you."

She bowed on her knees again and jumped back up happily standing beside Syaoran, who also have a big grin.

Yelan gave them a wave to dismiss them and they happily ran outside the main hall.

"Thank you, but you shouldn't really cross the line for me again, or else Queen Yelan might really make you suffer."

"I don't care anymore, I'm too happy to care."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek softly. Sakura felt the heat all travel to her cheeks. She touched where his lips touch and smiled happily.

"I guess it's a happy ending after all." She giggled and pulled Syaoran to his studies.

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Gemini-lover:LUB it? Hate it? R&R Sorry for updating so long!

NO THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER :)


	10. Confessions

I am who I am

PG –13  turning to M soon

Summary: Sakura. A very poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty girl goes into the royal palace in the hope to get a job to be a servant. Why does she have to be a servant? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – Speaking

… - Remembering or dream

… – Thinking

Disclaimer: sure I'll own them in my afterlife maybe if I'm lucky enough.

Thanks for reviewing... 3 YOU GUYS

Gemini-lover: I'm not as bad as you think I guess...REVIEW and if you think its good, RECOMMEND IT. IM LOSING READERS sits down and cry

BTW Give Credit to one of my best buds - Wishful Thinker Of Worst Intentions – for editing this chappie… NOT TO MENTION LIKE CHANGING IT COMPLETELY- ARGH! KILL YOU!

LOL JKJK but gives crd anyways!

Syaoran: 19

Sakura: 18

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China, Beijing - year 1845

Chapter 9: Rumors? They're true!

After the Queen of China approved Sakura to be Syaoran's personal servant, (or friend, as Syaoran puts it) the news was spread all around the Palace. The other servants were all sighing when they heard about this; Sakura was just a normal girl- but one that was really lucky to be allowed to serve Syaoran from day till night, always at his side. While the servants reacted with envy, the cousins of the emperor got extremely angry and irritated. They started to write long letters to the Queen, telling her she made the wrong mistake, and assuring her that Syaoran should simply marry instead. The Queen was speechless. Speechless at how a girl, a simple, mere servant girl can prove to be such a treat to her people, and thereupon cause the whole of Beijing turn against their ruler. But Syaoran could care less, as long as he has his friend, Sakura. He'll do anything. Simply anything.

Sakura wrote a long letter to her father and brother; it was months ago when she last contacted them. She missed them very dearly, thinking every day, what conditions their lives are in now, worrying what necessities are they are still missing and in need of. What they needed and wanted for a long time.

Dear father and brother,

Guessed what? I'm now serving the emperor of China, and the first and only girl servant who has ever done so. Emperor Xiao Lang is very nice, he treats me very well. We are very good friends. It was not easy to work my way to the highest level, but obviously if Syaoran didn't help me, I wouldn't even be able step foot in his bedroom!

I trained here in the Palace at first, then the Royal Uncle seemed to warm up to me and he wished to place me in the emperor's chambers before already, but the Queen of China, well, her Highness didn't approve, you see. And somehow, I got to the Chans. They were mean and horrible to me. If Touya hasn't read to this part, please don't let him read it. They dragged me to the royal palace and there was the Queen and Syaoran. They saved me again, well, Syaoran did.

After that Syaoran decided to get my job back, and so I could work in the palace again. There was this huge fight between him and the Queen. Even the clan has no choice but to let me serve Syaoran. So the Queen must give in, or else Syaoran will be asking for more. Then Syaoran argued there will be no personal guards. Queen also hastily approves, but she said if Syaoran misbehaves then there will be double guarding and consequences for him.

I'm so excited; I'm finally getting a real job.

Love

Sakura

P.S. PTO dad

When her father received her letter, he hurriedly ran to the pigeon and tugged off the parchment. He impatiently unrolled it and read through it, scanning it swiftly. Touya read the letter at the same time as his father. Obviously seen the part which Sakura wrote

'_They were mean and horrible to me.'_

"She's coming back," shouted Touya, as he grabbed his thin, worn coat and ran out the door. "I'm getting her back."

"No Touya, come back. Yes, your sister did suffer before, but not anymore. She's at the highest serving point, serving the emperor."

"Also about the emperor, you never know what his intentions are. You don't know what he wants to do."

"Touya, if Emperor wanted to kill Sakura, he would have done it before hand. Before he saved her before everything happened."

Touya sat down on the ground, ran his hand through his messy hair.

"I just don't want her to get hurt."

"Nor do I, would you think that I would let Sakura get hurt?"

Touya nodded to tell his father he understands. Touya slowly walks to the kitchen basin and started cooking or making their light meal.

Fujitaka turned over his paper and began to read again.

Hello father, how are you? I cannot write for a long time, the emperor needs my service. I must resume my chores and tasks soon. However I must tell you something. I am unsure, but I think I am seemingly beginning to like the Emperor, and no, I don't mean as a friend. He's nice, brave, good looking, and most importantly, he understands me. He is the man every girl in the kingdom is dying for. And I also happen to be the lucky girl. He seems to like me too, because yesterday, he just gave me a kiss on the cheek. When his lips made contact with my cheek, my skin was so hot that it could have melted the earth. It is not what her majesty and many others wishes, I am sure, but yet, my body seems to be aching for more, and my heart itself is craving, longing for his return of my emotions. He gave me a feeling that no other can give me. When he gave me that gentle kiss, I could feel it. It was as though he was the one that will give me warmth in the cold, and stay by me whenever I feel lost.

He's the one. I will always remember the things you taught me, to be educated and polite, and how gracious and well mannered girls are not to show their deepest emotions, nor their desperate longing, passion, desire, hunger, yearning, and thirst, but rather, to simply stay calm, cool, composed, and controlled at all times. I will, and I will remain that way. Until, perhaps, he tells me.

Love and missing you,

Sakura

Fujitaka smiled into the letter, and he finally understands why Sakura needs to bet her life to simply get this job. One reason is to pay for the dept the family owned; the other is to stay with her most beloved person, the Emperor.

He folded the letter inwards and placed it in his pocket, smiling as he brought out a fresh sheet of paper. And beginning to write, he placed the brush on to the paper.

"There's a pigeon."

Sakura rushed out where she was and picked up the pigeon tentatively. She strokes its feathers, and retrieved the parchment that was tied to the pigeon's leg. After that, she lightly released the pigeon from her delicate hold as so it is able to fly freely.

"Sakura was that the sound of pigeons flying?"

"Good morning Syaoran. It's from father." She said excitedly.

He chuckled at her excitement. "Calm down girl."

She stuck out her tongue and laughed.

She unrolled it messily and read it aloud.

"Dear Sakura, I love you very much and I hope you have a good experience in there. I'm sorry to hear about your pain at the Chans. I hope you were alright. Your brother Touya have been very worried, but fortunately I stopped him before killing the Chans. He's also worried about the emperor."

Sakura blushed slightly before she read on.

"Is he treating you nicely? Are you eating well in the palace? We're fine here and don't worry about the money, Touya worked very hard to earn us some money to live. Anyways, I'm very interested in ……."

Sakura stopped and stared at the parchment open mouthed.

Cannot believe what she just re read that sentence again.

Syaoran was curious why Sakura stopped reading to him.

"What is he interested about?" asked Syaoran curiously.

Sakura hesitated before she answered. "I'm not too sure…" She laughed nervously.

He walked over to her and gets the piece of parchment before Sakura could struggle.

He continued on where Sakura stopped, "Anyways, I'm very interested in how your relationship with the emperor is." Sakura blushing hard and cover her ears.

"Oh dear gods. This is so embarrassing. Sorry, Syaoran. Ignore my father, he's just joking and I mean I'm here for my father and my brother."

"You're not here for me?" he did a cute pout; his voice sounds like a 5 year old.

"No…You know I can't stand puppy eyes, Syaoran." Sakura begged.

He continued to tease her, "You don't care about me anymore? I don't deserve a place in your heart and mind? I feel so alone now."

"Aw….of course you deserve a place in my heart and mind, you're my good friend Syaoran. Of course you are in my heart."

His teasing tone was gone back to the light tone he used to have.

"No, not as a friend Sakura, I meant like the kind when you like a person very much."

She was still confused. "I do like you very much Syaoran." She laughed.

"I don't mean the friend way, I – I meant this way-."

He leans close to her and slowly makes his way to her lips. Sakura closed her eyes. He's going to kiss me; he's going to kiss me! He's going to kiss me…..

The spilt second Syaoran' soft lips made contact with hers, Sakura's world stopped. Time stopped, and everything paused, seemingly as though the universe, and all forms of space and time on earth, was put on hold. Everything stopped except for their hearts, which were beating fast and rhythmically with each others. His left hand caressed her left cheek, stroking the pinky-white, silky surface with his thumb and index finger. Sakura draped her arms around his neck and leaned in, fragile and baby bird- like, closer to him, feeling the warmth of his chest, the definition of his muscle abs, the pulsing of his heartbeat. He had stopped stroking her face, and his strong arms were now wrapped around her slim waist. He gently licked her full pink lips, asking for entrance, and without a single second lost she parted her soft mouth willingly to him. His tongue darted through those luscious, sugary lips, exploring. She moaned, returning the act of desire with just as much passion into his mouth. He pressed hard against her slender but curvy body, leaning towards the nearest wall.

Sakura drew back, "Syaoran, not now, remember what you promised your mother. Try and control yourself. I know it's hard around me," she teased.

He simply sighed and ruffled his hair with his hand, leaning against the wall. "Right. I forgot I'm the Emperor of China. Why can't I just have a normal life?" She gave him a look, one that says- you should be grateful for what you get. "Yes… I'll be thankful," says Syaoran, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

Great, now there are two women ruling over me. One is trying to stop my actions, and the other's aiming to stop my emotions.

Shaking his head, "And I'm supposed to be the Emperor of China, they say…"

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that … if not, I understand. Please review; tell me what you think about this story.


	11. The homesick or lovesick

I am who I am

M – language

Summary: Sakura. A very poor, very dirty, skinny but pretty girl goes into the royal palace in the hope to get a job to be a servant. Why does she have to be a servant? Will she be staying a servant forever? Is this end of her life? – I doubt it –

"…" – Speaking

… - Remembering or dream

… – Thinking

Disclaimer: Not mine; it's not my fault if Clamp got the idea before I did!! Sheesh!

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Geminilover: I'm not as bad as you think I guess...REVIEW and if you think its good, RECOMMEND IT. IM LOSING READERS sits down and cries

Syaoran: 19

Sakura: 18

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Chapter 10 : The home-sick or love-sick

China, Beijing - year 1845

_Home…Something I really want right now. It's not as if this place is torture and that I don't want to stay here, but how about papa and brother? What are they doing now, are they eating well, are they warm enough this winter. Are they sick? O what to do. If papa is sick, brother is not the brightest person in the world. I was the one who always cared for them. Do they have enough to support the both of them? Should I send some more? _

_But I don't have enough money. If only, if only I could ask Syaoran…._

_NO! I shouldn't and mustn't. More rumors would emerge. It's bad enough that the Empress Dowager is looking and judging at his every move but to ask for more money? Are you out of your mind Sakura Kinomoto! Must be joking!_

_No, I must think of another way. But if I don't see them how would I know what they need and what they don't? To trust them to put their worries and troubles on paper is more like snowing in the middle of August. Sigh…..what to do…_

The girl was so deeply in thoughts she completely forgot what she was wiping. She was using the cloth to push to and fro from one corner of the round jaded table to the other. Not aware that there was a china vase sitting in the very middle of the table was gently pushed more and more to the edge of the table.

_There must be a way…there must. But how? Something that would not require the risk of getting Syaoran into more trouble. I definitely can't ask for more money, I would be the talk of the whole china history then. A servant girl asking the Emperor of China for money. HA! As if… what to do, what to do…_

Syaoran came out from his bedroom to his study with his rolled up parchment of tactics on beating Mongolia and when he entered; he saw the hard working Sakura wiping his table down as if the whole entire universe's dust was on that table. He was tempted to laugh, but before any sound could come out he stopped himself just in time. He tried to look at some other part of the room so that he would be distracted from her. But he found that was almost impossible. Once again he glanced at her curiously and couldn't suppress a grin on his boyish face.

However the grin didn't last, he strolled over to the jaded table in front of her, right opposite of where the servant girl is, and saw Sakura was still wiping it. And after waving quite a lot of times in front of her face, she never replied once, not a smile nor a glare to ask him to stop his actions.

Sakura, decided to attack a completely different furniture victim, gave another firm wipe on the table before she turns around.

clang chinggg

Sakura turned back and saw not only the expensive vase was pushed to the edge of the table but also it landed just a foot away from the …..

"Emperor! The fault is all mine, I'm the one to blame, please ! Punish me, I'm less worthy than you."

She quickly rushed in front of Syaoran and kneeled down, head bowed as low as she could ever manage. She knew she was in deep trouble, never had she tried breaking anything or let anybody disappointed at her. Now she did it, what will Syaoran do to punish him? Slaps across the face as she saw her fellow servant friends' faces marked? Needle that will be inserted into the skin by even higher servant ranks?

The yellow clothed figure did not make a sound yet, yet. She knew shouts would come soon. Banishing maybe, sent away without any payment. Or even worse get locked up in the very cold palace that nobody visits and nobody dare goes.

Syaoran didn't look at her; he strolled over to the open door and told the servants outside to clean the mess that was made. Two obedient maids did not dare to waste a second, headed towards where Sakura was kneeling and gingerly picked up the shattered pieces of the vase.

Sakura could not help but to overhear some words of "expensive" "gift from a royal" "Stupid girl" She could not help but to think what she would be made to do. She wasn't exactly the idol of this palace. Her enemies and haters were uncountable by just using fingers. What was going to happen, why was the Emperor so quiet?

After the two other servant girls exited the room, Syaoran closed the door and peered from the holes to see if anybody was near. After making sure for the 2nd time, he went to Sakura and to her surprise, held her shoulders and helping her up from the floor.

She could only manage to look at him with teary eyes, tears that did not dare spill, the ones that burn her eyes. But she knew she shouldn't cry, it was her fault, she brought it on herself. If only, she paid more attention than to think about her own family.

_Family…._

Syaoran looked at her with pain, seeing Sakura like this made him helpless. This girl, this girl that he liked is in pain. He couldn't help for a bit, he never asked her. Just seeing her pretend to be strong when he and she knew very well that she was so weak, a breeze of wind could knock her over made his heart ached. He pushed her to his chest; hugged her firmly though at the same time with softness, he was afraid if he used a little more force would break her fragile body and soul.

"Cry, cry all you want now. I'm here, nobody else. You don't have to be strong, you don't have to pretend. Please…Seeing…seeing you like this, makes...me just as painful as you, are."

She knew so well that she should've obeyed as she was told, but she didn't. Cause if she was weak ever again, she would dependent on him. No, that's not what she wanted. She wants to be tough, if anything was thrown at her, she'll throw it back to the ones that did. If she just lean to his chest and cry, her dreams would be shattered, the ones that she planned. She won't cry, at the very least not in front of him.

_Why is he so nice to me? Why? When I need a shoulder to cry on, he didn't only offer me one but even something better, his well toned chest. Why? He should've punished me, he should have harshly shouted at me, so that I can learn a lesson instead of comforting me and telling me to spill all my emotions out. _

_I should have been stronger; I should have been less weak! He must think I'm a weak girl, one that was not capable to protect myself. But to think about it now, I didn't really have the strength or the power to protect myself. It's not fair; I never wanted it to be this way. I've got to be stronger, I must. _

With those thoughts, she lifted her head from her chest unexpectedly from Syaoran and pushed herself off his chest. She used her sleeves and wiped her eyes with, and exhaled deeply.

"You're wrong."

He looked at her half shocked, half confused. "I'm sorry, I'm what?"

"You're wrong, my majesty."

He still looked at her with his eyebrows up. However this time she didn't wait for his question once more. She stared at his eyes and said with a firm voice, "I didn't hide, I'm like this. I was never weak. I had never asked for your help, I'm fine on my own. So if you will please, I can take care of myself thank you."

She turned away, eyes began to water once more but before she could step another foot, he held a strong grip on her wrist.

"Don't lie; I can see it in your eyes."

She didn't dare to turn back and look at him; she was afraid that she would break down once more and show him her weakness once more. Shaking uncontrollably, she tried making her voice calm.

"No-no…I'm...not….not lying. I'm fine on my own."

"No you're not. Stop lying, give it up. Something is troubling you; I can see it in your eyes. Tell me Sakura, tell me what it is. Tell me, I'll understand."

Now angry and pain is building up in her. She's trying hard to ignore it, still using polite words and good manners to talk to him.

"No, for the.last.time.I'm.not.lying."

Tears began to flow from her eyes, down her cheeks and onto the floor.

Splat, splat, splat.

"Yes.you.are."

She could not help it anymore. She wretch her wrist off his hands, and whipped her head to face him. Her face now was blazing with tears, endless flows like the yellow river.

"HOW could YOU! You think YOU UNDERSTAND!! You'll NEVER- NEVER!"

"How would you know? Maybe I do."

"No! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND. BECAUSE YOU NEVER FELT THE WAY I FELT BEFORE. WHEN WINTER CAME, WE DIDN'T HAVE A PIECE OF CLOTHING ON OUR BACKS. WHEN WE'RE HUNGRY, WE DON'T HAVE A CRUMB OF BREAD TO EAT. WHEN WE'RE THIRSTY, WE DON'T HAVE A DROP OF WATER! AND WHEN WE HAVE JOBS – WE HAVE JOBS! WE CAN'T SEE OUR…FAMILIES! We HAVE to WORK OUR HARDEST TO JUST GET A ROOF ABOVE OUR HEADS!"

"AND YOU? YOU HAVE MORE THAN ON BLOODY ROOF ABOVE YOUR HEAD."

She dropped once more on her knees. She can't do this anymore, she felt so tired and if only somebody was going to be there and know what she needs.

She could only make him out of the tears that were soaking her eyes; she could see that he was coming her way. Her strength was wasted on that speech, she doesn't have any more to spare. She spent it all on worrying, crying at nights, doing her duties in the morning. She held out a hand.

"Stop, stop. I beg you please; do not make me feel less vulnerable. I had proved to you I'm unable to do anything. Please don't let make me feel any worse. Don't come to me, I don't…..don't…..need you."

But he didn't obey her, he kept walking to her.

"Come here."

His hands were stretched out, as if to come and receive her. She refused to obey; she was just as stubborn as he was.

"No. I won't."

He reached her, he done something that when people look back to history, they'll call this Emperor a disgrace to the Royal history. But he did it anyways, cause he didn't care the rumors, he never cared about his name and how it sound. For now, and forever all he cared was what in front of him.

He kneeled in front of her, took her cold hands in his warm ones and said, "Don't shield me away, I feel so lonely without you. Tell me, what are your concerns? Tell me, I'll help you anyway I can. If you want me to be banished or burned alive, I'll do it for you. Nobody but you."

She thought her ears were playing a trick at her, she bitterly laughed and as though he had expected it all along, she threw her arms around his neck, and cried her heart out. She just realized how comfortable and what a relief that somebody understands, that somebody wants to know about her. Somebody that cared that actually noticed her.

After a while, Syaoran started to rock her backwards and forwards. He didn't know how to comfort anybody. He never had the experience of it, he didn't have any other siblings, and his mother wasn't always there to comfort him and to ease him when he had troubles, since she used to be the empress of the country, she was busy, always busy. But seeing Sakura's reaction it seemed that he done it right, she seemed less tense, her shoulders a minute ago was hunched up but now it was relaxing moved at the same rhythm as her sobs and cries.

"You- you shouldn't have done that."

Sakura looked up at him with teary eyes. "You shouldn't have, you shouldn't! What if we were seen? What if people saw what you just did? What would have happened? Didn't you think of the concequenc-"

Syaoran pressed one of his long, thin fingers to her full lips. "Shhh, I don't want to hear what I'm allow to do or not. All I need is you right now, in my arms. Comfortable and without a single worry in your head."

He wrapped his arms around her and pushed her to his well tone chest.

"I don't want to you to be hurt, not even a single strand of hair should be fallen. If I can't protect you, then I'm really useless, then I don't deserve to be the Emperor of China."

She could only smile against his chest, inhaling his soap scent. He couldn't help herself from holding her face and kissed her forehead.

"So...tell me, what is troubling you?"

Syaoran could see she was hesitating, he knew that she is still holding back.

"If you don't want to tell me now is fine, tell me another day. That's ok. I'll wait, and if you want to tell me, I'll be there for you."

He placed her upon a chair and lifted himself off the floor. Getting his parchment from the table where he placed it before the disaster that happened. He was about to leave.

A sudden force almost knocked him back into his knees; a pair of slender arms wrapped them around his waist.

"No….no….don't go."

They stayed like this for a while, until Syaoran said "You sure about this?"

Her arms tightened, Syaoran could hear her swallow. "Ye…yes…I want this."

_I just need to get over this, if I don't pass this stage of telling him about my troubles, I won't up in anywhere. _

Her arms loosened and fell to her side, there was a loud thump and when Syaoran turned to see what she was doing, he found Sakura on her knees with her head bowed to the floor.

"What? Wait…Sakura don't do this. You…I…come back up. I refuse to talk to you like this. You are not less worthy …"

"Emperor, please – please, grant me to go back…." She paused for a bit as though there was trouble pronouncing the next words that came out of her lips , "…..back to my family."

Syaoran could only say "Ah….I see."

Sakura knew her chances were getting slimmer and slimmer. "Please, one day will do. Just let me see how they are faring. I don't mind if I do double the work, or get punishment for saying all this to you."

"Sakura, you know it's hard."

"I know…" she whispered, "I know, that's why I didn't want to tell…"

Syaoran paced around the room a few times. Each time his brows were forming more and more of a straight line.

"Please, please I beg of you."

He looked at her now, and to his shock, Sakura didn't only bow, she was lifting her head and knocking her head back on the floor. Her head was swift and it seemed that Sakura was unstoppable.

"what are you doing. My.heart.is.already.tensed.enough.to.see.you.like.this. Are you trying to kill me with heartaches?"

Syaoran lifted her to her feet, and her forehead now was bruised with her spots, blacky-green color was forming under the skin. He looked at her heartbroken. Syaoran heard himself said, "Yes, you may go. I can't bear the sight you're begging and hurting a week I grant you, but after that you've got to come back, come back to me."

Sakura could only look at him with her mouth open wide. Syaoran caught a glimpse at her and couldn't help laughing. He lightly supported her lower jaw back up, "A fly is going to get in your mouth." She could only embarrassingly laugh.

"I never thought you would actually let me."

"Yeah, I thought too. Just thinking you're not there with me is so awkward."

She giggled and wiped her happy tears away from her eyes. She tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on Syaoran's cheek.

And with that she ran towards her own room to pack, with Syaoran chasing her from behind.

Sakura laughed with Syaoran when he caught her by the waist.

"What? I only get a kiss on the cheek for doing such a magnificent grant? No, you're not allowed to go now."

She mockingly beat his chest with her closed hands.

"Hey, no fair! You promised me!"

"O…you know, maybe I'll let you go if you give me a kiss on the lips."

"Ah! You rogue!"

She broke free from his grasp. Still giggling as she ran from him.

"Excuse me; come back her young lady, who are you calling a rogue."

The pair spent the rest of the day with content and happiness. Not knowing what secrets and dangers laid ahead of the 'couple'.

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A/N : MUAHAHA and that's it! I'm sorry, so sorry for not updating for a bloody long time. I was busy, hehehe. It's not my fault, I've tried! I promise there would be still a long way to go. It doesn't end that fast. Hahaha. Too bad guys, still a lot more to go. Hope you love liked/loved/satisfied with this chapter and review please!

With lots of love

Geminilover


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